In light of research...

Alright, so after a painstaking 30 minutes of scouring over everything google, wikipedia, and even the mundane and oft-ignored urban dictionary looking for a proper response to Jon James query, I've come to a stark discovery.

No one, and I mean absolutely NO ONE has even tried somewhat to attempt to define the scale of awesome. This is traumatic. World-ending. Under-stated. I cannot stress the importance to my personal existence that this revelation has become.

So, in an effort to appease the Gods of math and science, I have thus striven (striven? like strived in the past tense? strove? strove... no, striven... sigh) to develop a crude, but necessary first step in this grand endeavor to develop a proper, systematic scale with which to gauge one's mostly mundane life events.

Here is as follows, my attempt at a proper scale.
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10Epic Win
9 Wizard
8 Epic
7 Wicked
6 Awesome
5 Win
4 Fantastic
3 Sweet
2 Cool
1 Neat
0 Interesting
- 1 bland
- 2 boring
- 3 Fantastic (sarcastic use implied)
- 4 Fail
- 5 Stupid
- 6 Awful
- 7 egregious
- 8 Epic Fail
- 9 Catastrophic
-10Debilitating
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It is important to note the utility of this system.
If you find something to be vague, you can use this system to prescribe a range of Awesome to the event being measured. for example, you could say that something was "wicked fantastic" in a positive way if your not sure it warrants a 7 or a 4 on the scale, or you could say it sarcastically and imply that it rests between 7 and -3, and your being nice about not saying where. Useful when with friends.